‘raat bhar yaad aati rahi’
Well today I’ll be writing about ,grief…
So basically grief is a fancy term given for the subjective feeling one has ,when one survives a loss ,loss of a loved one ,loss of a bond or affection that was formed.
Although mostly it is used and focused on the emotional response to loss , it also has physical , behavioral, social, spiritual repurcussions.
It is sometimes also used synonymously to mourning,though mourning is the process of getting over grief.
The first response to loss ,DENIAL or disbelief ,which is manifested as searching behaviour ,pinning ,missing ,yearning , longing and protest.
The duration of this phase is also subjective like the response ,some take minutes while others take weeks to get over it.
followed by denying the event, ANGER takes charge manifested as anguish,frustration,irritability,the anger might be displaced on others,or self one tries to take the situation in control,when actually one doesn’t have any control over it. we commonly ask “‘why of all people me!!”‘ we blame God ,we blame ourselves ,we blame life.This phase might last for months together.
BARGAINING ,we are trained this way ,when we desire something that is hard to get we bargain, we bargain with others ,we also bargain with the almighty,” please get this done,i will give up on non vegetarian food.”
“please ,let me see her for one last time,i will never ask for anything else” ,aren’t we designed this way??Breaking the hope ,is tough,this shatters,there is no chance,things can be reversed.
which leads us to the next phase
DEPRESSION ,in this stage one shows the clinical signs of depression ,that is withdrawal ,being alone ,sleep disturbance ,hopelessness ,sometimes suicidal ideas ,guilt, loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities.
Not everybody goes through this phase and the severity is also variable and subjective.
The final stage is ACCEPTANCE ,people realise the inevitability of death , seperation and accept the universality of the experience.
ideally when there is proper resolution ,people can talk about the experience and facing the unknown.
Speaking of it generally ,ALL of us ,at some point or the other in life have to face separation from the loved ones ,face losses, either to death or to life .
“In my abode there is neither birth ,death,old age or disease. Going there one never returns”