i always tell myself, it is at the end a game of trust, faith and belief.
“They loved each other (or so they thought, after all who really knows what love is ,is it even something that can be understood or known?),what they understood of love was that it is the ability to stick together despite seeing the most ugly versions of each other ,of being there for each other without fail, of being able to enjoy activities with each other, of being able to be irreplaceable in each other’s lives, one incidence and the vital TRUST was broken and it all changed over one night.”
Something that is hard to build, very delicate and easy to ruin, and very essential to build any relationship, whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship also a therapeutic relationship.
The word “trust” can be interpreted in various ways by different people, and it’s often one of those things that you aren’t able to describe until you feel it. You know when you trust your partner—and you certainly know when you don’t. It might be different for different people, for me, trust is a sense of stability, a sense of predictability, and consistency. Also, I know when someone is trusting me is when they give me the space to be myself, unabashed, without being judged, when I’m given the space to do my stuff at peace without being insecure, and ‘trust’ me,there is no better feeling than being able to trust and trusted.
When we write Rx, A theory states the symbol is a corruption of the symbol of jupiter,it can be assumed that the name of jupiter was invoked to make the prescription effective for the patient.also there are concepts of placebo and nocebo, establishing a role of trust in pharmacotherapy as well.
How can you build trust in a relationship?
Here are some tips
1. Be there when they need you.
When life throws you punches, it helps to have someone to weather the blow with you. When these moments happen, being present for your partner and prioritizing their emotional needs is essential .being there doesn’t just imply being their 3 am friends /agony aunts ,being there simply means having the intent of supporting and validating the other in times of distress, WHEN THEY NEED YOU.
2. Demonstrate interest and engagement
You know those times when you finish expressing your feelings, only to realize that nobody has been listening to you? Pretty much the worst feeling in the world, no? It is okay to not have the bandwidth to do that every time , just being honest and communicating, that you aren’t mentally ready for listening is enough.
“When you are communicating or spending time with your partner, be attentive and attuned to their feelings and experience, Being attuned involves using your non-verbal and verbal communication to show that you are paying attention to your partner and that what they express is important to you.” Which means, yes sometimes you have to postpone what you planned to do at that moment.
3. Be consistent and committed.
To build a strong house, you have to place brick after brick after brick for it to feel like a home. Relationships are the same way—they take committed and consistent actions which, over time, can spare you tons of doubt and stress.
Commit to doing the things that you say you will—and not just long enough so you can get a pat on the back. Consistency is for the long haul.
4. Get in touch with your vulnerable side.
Bust down those walls, Sharing things about yourself can be awkward, raw, and downright intimidating, but you have to risk it. While it might not come easy to you from the get-go, it’s a great way to feel more comfortable with your partner.
Vulnerability is the most beautiful thing to have and offer in a relationship, being able to be emotionally naked in front of anyone, be it your partner or your therapist is the most precious gift to your own self and the other.
It is very understandable that we all have difficulty opening up because of the past traumas we have gone through, therefore before getting into relationships ,I feel one should ‘heal’ as they say.
5. Prioritize quality time.
You have to spend time with each other to get attuned and get comfortable enough to be trusting
6. Set boundaries.
Without knowing your boundaries, it is likely that your partner will do or say something that will cross one or many of them. Knowing what is negotiable for you and what is not helps setting boundaries
Don’t wait until your partner or friend or therapist has violated a boundary to bring it up. Take some time on your own to identify your boundaries, and then set aside some time in your schedule to have a discussion with your partner about them.
“You could tell your partner: ‘My time is important to me. If you are going to be late, I’d appreciate you communicating that so that I can adjust my schedule accordingly,’
7. Respect each other.
This might sound like a no-brainer, but it makes the list for a reason. Sure, it’s like the first rule of being human, but it gets taken for granted all too often. “Belittling, criticizing, and yelling erode trust—fast,” Herring says. “Over time, it can make rebuilding next to impossible.”
So, set up rules for your arguments, since that’s when respect often becomes an issue. Agree to never resort to the things you won’t tolerate. So, if that’s name-calling or cursing at each other in the heat of the moment, identify those actions you want to avoid—and stick to your rules.
8.Sticking to your word,accepting when you mess up,and being open to feedback without taking things personally,helps develop trust.
Simply put trust is something which takes many trials and consistency and time to develop and I strongly believe trust is something which makes stuff easy,if you trust a stone is God ,if you don’t even God cannot convince you of his existence.
Tell me what trust means for you, and why is it hard for you to trust?What do you think has made us all so scared to be vulnerable?
thank you for going through this.