The Art of letting Go

vo jo khwab sa kya kahein ki jaane den,ye jo hai kamse kam ye rahe ke jaane den…’

Well …all the experiences, people, situations, patients that i come across on daily hourly minutely basis ,make me feel like life is screaming at me telling me, there is just one thing that can be done…letting it go.

Generations of conditioning have made us into working machines,one after the other we chase goals,targets ,missions, running from here to there,always on the go,always in some race,till we keep achieving what all we desire ,we feel high and happy,as soon as something doesn’t work out the way we wanted,we get lost in disdain…And all that chase has helped us reach where we are today, hasn’t it?I being a medical student ,have gone through the drill,always and forever studying for exams, chasing ranks and marks .On the contrary all exams made us realise it doesn’t really matter if you study or not ,how many hours you put or how much course you cover,in the end ,it all happens as it had to,not disregarding the efforts what are put in,but do we really need to get so stressed out about these things?



Aadatan toh sochenge ,hota yun toh kya hota
magar jaane de…


After you reach a level,you realise these are all skills for achivement,and we have never learnt how to be peaceful, nobody has ever taught us peace skills…that this habit of holding on to things ,which donot serve our purpose anymore isn’t helping us grow.

Therefore when that girl we liked doesn’t reciprocate our feelings…
therefore that exam which we arent able to crack…
therefore that job that we aren’t able to grab
pains ,pains so much that we forget what we have in hand ,what our present is .
therefore we have breakdowns post failure in love,work,life and we long,our whole lives go vain in longing .
We’ve all had to let go of things at some point or another. Whether it be a pet, friend, love, or simply ideas and ideologies,ideas of a perfect relationship,perfect body,perfect relationship,perfect life,when we don’t even know what perfect is!!what might be perfect for me ,will not be perfect for you,so anything which has more than one version,cannot be true right? why waste time and energy on something that isnt true then . We are constantly ending chapters in order to start new chapters.Until we end what doesn’t serve our purpose any more,how will we have new beginnings??

It is like getting on a train, holding on to your luggage carrying the baggage even after you have gone a distance, you dont realise you are carrying it ,until someone points out,dude drop it,keep it down, you have boarded the train already,isnt it unburdening like that? letting go is beautiful,makes you feel so lite and free flowing,it is time we just let go of things and enjoy whatever life throws at us , days and nights become fascinating instead of stressing out.

There will be times when we have to part with the most precious things close to our hearts, but when we have no other choice we just have to simply let go…

When we look around us,look at nature do we find trees whining for shedding leaves?


Poisons we love

How many of us are comfortable being by themselves?

How many of us indulge into stuff ,just for the joy of it and not out of a need of completion, of filling up some void?To feel a little better,to feel a little less empty,to feel a little less unsatisfied?How many of us are comfortable by just being! I am not…

one knows the difference ,only after feeling content and doing things not out some need ,just for the joy of it.

Not disregarding and claiming,that any of it is wrong, let us see though, take a small pause and just see ,anything, be it indulging into substances or relationships or anything as noble as charity, might satisfy one for a little while ,but the dissatisfaction doesn’t go away ,until one day out of grace ,it all doesn’t affect ,you just enjoy whatever comes your way, there is a sense of awe. What next? So none of it is poison as such,none of it an elixir either, all of it is the same,just different flavours, different sequences…

So what makes it a poison, attachment to it,dependence in terms of Psychiatry,indulgence where it takes precedence over everything else…


Journey within , Journey without…


i see myself as a pendulum
bouncing back and forth
between arrogance and doubt

i see myself swaying here and there
coming back in the centre
swaying away again

i think to myself may be i am the one seeing
may be i am the bolt staying
i think i get tired i think again

i step back and observe
all this drama i create
laugh at it,it makes me cry at times

i say enough is enough
bring it on
whatever it is
i will go with the flow
surrender amidst
i will free myself to just be as it is
i question this ‘i’
it is blurred than before
i question this ‘i’
and wooooof here it passes by
Sarandha


Maa

I look in the mirror and think to myself this woman looks familiar,I look again and I see ,her reflection in me,
She is imperfectly perfect
Which gives me space to accept my own imperfections

She is sensitive ,she is sweet ,but has her own mental cobs

She is impatient and anxious
But has all the love in the world to give out…

She did her best,she ever could
I grow up and learn ,my mom did her best

She is getting  tired
I want her to grow
So what if she is old
She still can glow

I thank her for everything
And want her to know
We will be fine by ourselves
She can let us just flow

Why wait for her birthday
Or mother’s day to go
I love my mother
But she will always love me more


Growth pangs

Growth pangs
My legs hurt
My back hurts
But most of all my mind hurts

I lose sleep
I lose peace
But most of all I lose my self

I shriek in pain
I cry with disdain
But most of all I embrace my insane

Things lose meaning
People become endearing
But most of all know nothing…

These pangs of growth
Something says are good
I hold on to faith ,thats all I brood
Sarandha


Joy and Sorrow

Pass it on and do return 

@vickykaushal09 se prerit
@sirphira_ghumakkad ke dwara vilambit

People turn to God, and spirituality, when they experience suffering,I did too,turned to Bhagwad Geeta 
Vishada means sadness or sorrow, and yoga means the state.(my interpretation)
The first chapter of Geeta is about Arjuna’ sorrow,and doubt,he was taken upon by grief ,grief of what lay in front of him,doubt about what is right and what is not.
Why was Arjuna filled with sorrow in the battlefield? Arjuna the mightiest warrior of all times,the learned disciple of Lord Krishna was sad?Did that make him any less courageous?

It was primarily because he was emotionally attached to his relations and family members . Attachment is a human value.People experience fear and anxiety at the prospect of losing something,in the prospect of seperation

Being human, Arjuna felt the same. His state of mind also revealed that he had preferences and biases in life. We all have likes and dislikes and Arjuna was not different. He had attraction for life and aversion to death. He identified himself with his mind and body, which made him feel vulnerable. Even if you have trained well under a spiritual master for long, in moments of crisis you may act like a normal human being and experience stress. It happened to Arjuna, although he too was well-versed in the knowledge of the scriptures and possessed the knowledge of the Self.

Sorrow is a modification of the mind,  books in Psychiatry have also mentioned mania of extreme happiness to be a defence mechanism against sorrow.

Being sad and anxious to little extent in crisis situations like these are normal.You are not alone.

I am not alone.

Being Sad at times is normal, giving up at times is normal,we are not sages ,we are humans.We feel therefore we are human.
If you study life carefully, you will realize that sorrow opens our eyes to the truths of our existence. It makes us reflective and introspective.it gives depth, compassion and empathy.
Stop judging yourself for giving up. Be kind to yourself.

Learning important lessons from the difficulties and sorrows in your life makes you wiser.
Karma does the same. It chisels our thinking and behavior.Trust the almighty,times are tough ,but we are not alone,We are all connected in a collective consciousness,We are all a part of Him ,he is a part of all of us,Rekindle what you have always had, rekindle your spiritual being,sit with yourself meditate,help others,serve others .
Spread love and positivity.
we are in this together ♥️.


Quarter-life crisis…yes it has a name!!

Please note: This is going to be a very casual post…

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Hey!! how are you?

How old are you? yes, you?

Have you managed, to get yourself the job of your dreams???

Have you been able to get married yet?

Oh, that car we used to talk about, have you bought it?

Do you have a baby yet?

Do you feel trapped?

Do you feel, you have outgrown your partner?

Do you feel you could have got yourself someone better?

Do you feel confused??

and most of all, are you happy?? or are you satisfied??

He was married for 3 years now,and ‘the’ wife was pregnant,they had known each other for a decade ,he was bored,very bored,he started dreading coming home from office,to his cranky pregnant wife,he was not happy with his life,he missed his college friends,some of whom were still single and travelling and apparently living his dream.He was 30 yrs old.

She had been single since forever ,her fear of rejection taking the toll,but now since she was reaching the ‘marriageble age ‘ her parents were worried,they wanted her to get ‘settled’,she was confused ,wasnt if she could give away her solitude,she was also scared to ‘die alone’,she wasnt sure of what she wanted ,she was very very unsure.She was 27 yrs old.

All he did was work these days,his office was his first home now,he could not recall when was the last time he took a break,he was tired ,tired of his ‘lifeless’ existence,he had no time at all,he missed those days ,those days of leisure where he would do nothing at all and pass the whole day just looking at the fan on his wall.He was 29 years old.

She felt lonely,unloved,though in a relationship , she was not in one at all.She would try each dress that would make her feel a little tall,She craved for attention and felt lonely and very small.She was 34 yrs old.

He was brilliant in his craft had a loving wife, but no work he could get at all, it pained so much to let his wife pay for every time they went to the mall. He would freak it out every time the Sensex made a fall, he was 32 yrs old.

She was not being able to concieve,they tried several times,this time it happened,she was happy but very anxious,she had worked really hard on her career was she ready to give it away,she wasn’t sure,she was scared to the core.She was 28 yrs old.

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Well, we have all hit our quarter-life already(being very optimistic thinking of life expectancy to be 100).

Quarter-life crisis as defined in the Collins British dictionary can be defined as a crisis experienced in one’s twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life.

According to Eric Ericson’s stages of psychosocial development, people pass through a series of staged centered on social and emotional development.

At each point in a person life, he/she faces a conflict, which ought to be resolved and if it is not resolved, the person will have some of the other psychological issues.

We i.e. people between the age group, 21-39 are going through the sixth psychosocial stage of development i.e. intimacy vs. isolation(crisis), the virtue that we shall learn is love, yes love. He believed that it is vital that people develop close, commited relationships with other people, which are not necessarily romantic relationships, close friendships are also important. he described the stages as characterized by closeness, intimacy, honesty and of course love.

Apart from love, employment, choosing a career path, not feeling passionate about work, basically entering into the real world after college may become a major cause for stress and anxiety, living by oneself and ‘adulting’ might become unsettling to some.

Well all of us had dreams,had visions of how we wanted our lives to be ,and a very few of us have actually been able to achieve it,whether on the work front or on the relationship front ,so here are a few tips that can be of help:

  • First of all it is not too late,it never is.
  • Some things cannot be changed and those which cannot have to be accepted,no point wasting energy on thinking about it.
  • Things that can be changed ,ought to be changed,yes procrastination is a real problem and getting back that motivation is hard ,but it ought to be done and done now!! yes changing things will never be easy,equilibriums will be disturbed ,it will settle down eventually ,take the plunge ,take the risk.
  • Surround yourself with people who know you,who believe in you and your dreams and support you.
  • Make a legitimate list of pros and cons of the decision you are about to take.
  • Consult people you trust,ask for help,ask,approach…
  • Do things that help you be motivated,it is absolutely normal to feel stagnated at some point in life, do things along which help you be happy .pursue your hobbies,take a break.
  • Engage in whatever you do,with full zeal.
  • Move on,yes easier said than done,but let not your past experiences,hamper your present.
  • Anticipate,your problems beforehand and be prepared.
  • Accept opportunities,see them as opportunities instead of stressors.
  • Stop comparing,the grass is always greener on the other side,everybody has a different timeline,no two timelines are or can be the same,so it is absolutely futile to do so.Stop doing it.
  • if the distress is too much ,there is sleep disturbance,disturbance in appetite,daily functioning is being hampered,there is death wish,suicidal ideas,panic attacks,physical symptoms,there is no harm in seeking help from a mental health professional.
  • lastly you are not alone,reach out,talk about it,vent it out,you will always find a keen ear somewhere.

here i am attaching two songs,which depict this condition 😀