i see myself as a pendulum bouncing back and forth between arrogance and doubt
i see myself swaying here and there coming back in the centre swaying away again
i think to myself may be i am the one seeing may be i am the bolt staying i think i get tired i think again
i step back and observe all this drama i create laugh at it,it makes me cry at times
i say enough is enough bring it on whatever it is i will go with the flow surrender amidst i will free myself to just be as it is i question this ‘i’ it is blurred than before i question this ‘i’ and wooooof here it passes by Sarandha
would let the dirt settle,making the water unclear…
would make the fish less visible…then once in a month when it would get very dirty…
we would get our hands dirty and put the fish in a smaller vessel,when we moved them,they would gasp for their air i.e. water for a while,some would struggle and fall on the ground…
most of them would get back to normal,once put back in the jar…
some would get sick and recover while some would succumb…
would that stop us from cleaning the aquarium?
would not cleaning it regularly prevent the deaths?
would the dirty aquarium not become like a gas chamber?
would it not lead to sickness ?
well im on the journey of cleansing my minds aquarium,i have opened my long standing wound for dressing
it pains, it hurts, i shriek i cry…i go quiet…
i know it hurts my vicinity as well,but can the flow ,can the journey be stopped?
i am trying hard,really hard to see clearly but in vain,the water is dirty,stagnant,the settled dirt has surfaced…
but i can do nothing but wait…holding on to faith ,giving up on hope…