Poisons we love

How many of us are comfortable being by themselves?

How many of us indulge into stuff ,just for the joy of it and not out of a need of completion, of filling up some void?To feel a little better,to feel a little less empty,to feel a little less unsatisfied?How many of us are comfortable by just being! I am not…

one knows the difference ,only after feeling content and doing things not out some need ,just for the joy of it.

Not disregarding and claiming,that any of it is wrong, let us see though, take a small pause and just see ,anything, be it indulging into substances or relationships or anything as noble as charity, might satisfy one for a little while ,but the dissatisfaction doesn’t go away ,until one day out of grace ,it all doesn’t affect ,you just enjoy whatever comes your way, there is a sense of awe. What next? So none of it is poison as such,none of it an elixir either, all of it is the same,just different flavours, different sequences…

So what makes it a poison, attachment to it,dependence in terms of Psychiatry,indulgence where it takes precedence over everything else…


cleansing…

Blurr…

we had an aquarium ,when i was a kid

we let the fish poop,eat and die in it

would let the dirt settle,making the water unclear…

would make the fish less visible…then once in a month when it would get very dirty…

we would get our hands dirty and put the fish in a smaller vessel,when we moved them,they would gasp for their air i.e. water for a while,some would struggle and fall on the ground…

most of them would get back to normal,once put back in the jar…

some would get sick and recover while some would succumb…

would that stop us from cleaning the aquarium?

would not cleaning it regularly prevent the deaths?

would the dirty aquarium not become like a gas chamber?

would it not lead to sickness ?

well im on the journey of cleansing my minds aquarium,i have opened my long standing wound for dressing

it pains, it hurts, i shriek i cry…i go quiet…

i know it hurts my vicinity as well,but can the flow ,can the journey be stopped?

i am trying hard,really hard to see clearly but in vain,the water is dirty,stagnant,the settled dirt has surfaced…

but i can do nothing but wait…holding on to faith ,giving up on hope…

i am waiting patiently,patiently to see clearly…

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Contd. On the second page…

Do what you truly desire…